


in the midnight sun (act two)

by cantsaythursday (horriblekids)



Series: werewolf 'verse [4]
Category: All Time Low
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-26
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:38:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horriblekids/pseuds/cantsaythursday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Werewolf AU! Or, "How Alex Gaskarth became a werewolf and nobody even died or anything."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In the end, you chicken out and you leave him a note.

_“Alex._

_I’m still mad at you so I’m going over to Matt & Danny’s for a little while. If the weather stays this shitty I’ll probably stay over there tonight, I don’t really want to drive in this storm. Same goes for you too, OK? Don’t go driving around looking for me if I don’t come home. I will call and let you know where I am, so stay put._

_Love you xx”_

Then you drive the three miles to your best friend’s house and hope that someone is home. You really don’t want to be alone right now. It’s raining so hard the roads are turning to mud. But you couldn’t stay in the house reeking of Alex’s betrayal. He wasn’t going to tell you. God, he wasn’t going to tell you. What did he think was going to happen? The full moon would come, and what? Because probably if he had waited that long to tell you, to be honest, you probably would have ripped his throat out mid-change. If he survived it at all…

And that’s why you’re really angry. It’s not just him that is going to change. It’s your entire relationship dynamic. It’s the fact that now you’re going to need to cover not only your own tracks but his too, now, and that’s easier said than done since he is one of only two veterinarians working at the animal hospital. Alex can’t just take off for a week every month. It’s different for you and Matt; you’re contractors, you can pretty much maintain your own schedule and no one says a word about it if you don’t do a job for a week. He is an _idiot_ , you think. He is a goddamn idiot and you kind of want to punch his gorgeous face because you are really that angry at him. You sort of struggle with that sometimes; he does really asshole-ish things and you can’t ever stay mad at him for more than a few minutes. But this time, you are livid.

The idea does occur to you that maybe you’re angry at yourself, too. You’re the one who put him in a position to get bitten in the first place, so it is kind of your fault. And then you’re angry at yourself for your complete _inability_ to stay angry at him, which is just… great.

*

“I’m going to fucking eviscerate him,” Matt says after you’ve told him. There’s a vein popping out on his forehead. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him this angry. He looks especially fearsome since he’s making dinner at the same time you’re telling him what happened; he’s been chopping vegetables and you’re not sure that right now is the best time for him to be holding a knife.

Danny reaches around and gently pries the knife from his fingers. “No one is going to eviscerate _anyone_ ,” he says calmly. You sigh miserably from your perch on top of the counter. You are supposed to be stirring the pasta sauce, which looks… pretty lumpy. Matt growls in the back of his throat and opens the refrigerator door with so much force one of the hinges snaps cleanly off. Danny just groans and shakes his head. “Is it shitty that Alex wasn’t going to tell you? Yes. Could it be a lot worse?”

“No,” you whine childishly at the same time Matt says yes. “He wasn’t going to tell me but he told _Jeff Maker_ first.”

“You are doing this wrong,” Matt informs you. He takes the wooden spoon from you and pats you on the shoulder with his free hand. It’s the most comfort you’re probably going to get from him; Matt has trouble with the whole ‘retaining his humanity’ part of being a werewolf sometimes. Although that is why he and Danny work so well as a couple, because Danny is the most steadfastly moral person you know and that always manages to rein Matt in. “You need to stir with a steady hand,” he says.

Danny hugs you tight and whispers, “It’ll be okay. He’ll probably show up here begging for forgiveness as soon as he’s off work.” You hug back and bury your face in his shoulder. They haven’t been together for long, but you’re really glad that he and Matt found each other. _It’s just a fight_ , you tell yourself. _Normal couples have fights all the time._ But as it gets later with no word from Alex, you start to get worried. He’s known to call three or four times a day to check in with you. You try not to think about it. Even though you’re pissed off, you miss him terribly.

Matt notices you glancing at the clock and says, “He’ll call.” You hope he’s right.

Another hour goes by. He doesn’t call. It gets to be almost nine at night and he never calls and you feel positively sick. You don’t feel right without Alex right there. “I need to go home.” You ignore their reassurances that he’s fine, the weather is just really bad so maybe the phone lines are out because honestly? It doesn’t matter. “I’ll call you when I get there,” you tell Matt so he’ll stop fretting. “I’m fine to drive.” Which you are; you haven’t had anything to drink and you just took your car to get your winter tires off so it’s in working order.

It takes maybe fifteen minutes to get home. The driveway is slick and muddy when you pull in, but Alex’s truck is in the garage like it should be. Despite that, there might as well be someone waiting inside the front door to punch you in the face, because that’s what it feels like. And now you understand why he didn’t call.

“Babe,” he says. “I thought you were staying at Matt’s tonight.” The guy he’s been making out with has that guilty look on his face - _good_ , you think, _at least one of you knows you’re doing something wrong_. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

You’re still standing with your hand on the doorknob, mouth agape because you can’t fucking _believe_ this. “Then you’d better have a damn good explanation, because it looks a hell of a lot like you’re cheating on me.” You tighten your fingers on the knob. You want to hit him - hit both of them, actually - but you know you’d be an idiot to start a fight with him in this state. Because, at the heart of the matter is this one small problem: Alex is a fucking werewolf now. He doesn’t know his own strength, so only a fool would get into it with a brand new werewolf. And stupid you may be - for coming back home, for thinking you should hear him out once you got over your anger - but you’re not that stupid.

There’s no point in hearing him out. You don’t want to hear it right now, or possibly, ever, so rather than listening to him beg for your forgiveness, you turn on your heel and storm out. The door slams behind you; the sound, however satisfying it may be, is drowned out by the thunder shaking the sky. You peel out of the driveway so fast gravel goes spraying everywhere and drive back to Matt’s and Danny’s. Oh God. You are the worst kind of idiot. How could you trust him? How are you ever going to trust him again? It takes all of your concentration just to keep from crying as you drive.

When you walk back into their house, Matt looks up and growls, “I’m going to fucking _disembowel_ him.”

“Matt, don’t,” Danny says quietly, laying a hand on his chest to still him. “No one is going to entertain any murder plans tonight.” You collapse on the couch between them; Danny stays up late with you watching shitty nighttime talk shows and Matt paces back and forth, back and forth, back and forth cracking his knuckles and cursing under his breath. It doesn’t stop hurting. You’re on your best friend’s couch crying your eyes out to him and his boyfriend, soaking up all the love they’re giving you, and it still hurts too much to bear.


	2. Chapter 2

The phone wakes you and two facts register simultaneously. First, you’re not at home, which is ultimately depressing because then the second fact registered: Alex cheated on you. Is probably currently cheating on you with his little boy toy, probably in your bed. You feel a strong desire to burn the mattress. Then you realize that the phone is ringing, but by the time you’ve realized this, Danny has already picked up. He says, “Shit,” and then he disappears for a minute while you shake sleep off and stretch.

Matt comes out of the bedroom in sweats and a t-shirt. He shoves a hoodie at you - one of his - and tells you to put it on. “You need to go home right now.” You wrestle yourself into the polar fleece and stumble alongside him out to his truck. It stutters but ultimately roars awake when he turns the key in the ignition. You’re still half-asleep, so you don’t understand the urgency of the situation. And anyway, you don’t want to be at home right now very badly at all.

“Alex cheated on me,” you mumble, warming your hands on the heater miserably. Your fingers are numb, so numb, and you don’t understand why they should be. It’s summer, supposed to be hot. Why are you so cold? Actually your wrists ache too and everything feels heavy; maybe you are in shock. You don’t know why you feel so numb and stupid.

Matt says, quietly, “Jack called and told me he tried to kill himself.”

You scream. No, more than that - you _howl_ in the passenger seat of Matt’s truck. You are so upset that the hairs start growing on the backs of your hands again even though it’s almost three weeks until next moon. “Drive faster,” you growl. When he doesn’t react, you grip his arm hard and repeat yourself. “Will you fucking drive _faster_?” If you felt like your heart was being ripped out earlier tonight when you walked on Alex kissing that guy, now it feels like your heart is trying to tear your heart from your chest because you don’t want this to happen. It can’t happen. Alex can’t _die_ because you love him and you can’t, you can’t exist if he’s not alive, if he’s not real. Without realizing it you’ve started pulling out the hairs on the backs of your hands. “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real,” you whisper. Matt drives faster.

When Matt pulls into the driveway all the lights are on in the house. The garage door is open. You leap out of the truck before it’s stopped and _run_ in through the garage, but you skid to a sudden stop when you see the blood. And then you immediately know how he did it; you feel sick. The guy - _Jack_ , you think - runs out and grabs you, hurries you into the house. His clothes are bloodstained. Of course, the analytical side of your brain is taking in the details. Blood on the carpet. Blood on the wall, blood on the doorknob of the bathroom door. “I didn’t know who else to call, there’s so much blood…”

You swallow hard. “In his truck, there’s a bag - It has all his work stuff in it, go get it.” Jack doesn’t move, so you yell at him - “ _Go_ , you little shit!”

The water is blood red. Under any other circumstances, you’d mark this as the moment you start throwing up. Now you kneel beside the bathtub and feel his neck for a pulse, holding your breath. It’s right there like it always is, _lbbb-dbbb-lbbb-dbbb_ , but slower. The slashes on his wrists are gory - he did a good job of it - but to be honest you aren’t terribly concerned for the moment. Already, they’re starting to heal. They’re not as deep as you think they would be for a suicide attempt and Jack called Matt’s almost half an hour ago. Jack returns with the bag, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry,” he says in a tiny voice.

“He’ll be okay,” you mutter. “A little fragile, but okay.” You open his bag and - _aha!_ \- find what you were looking for: gauze, those funny angled scissors, thread for stitches and needles. First you grab the little flashlight and turn it on, peel his eyelids back and check his pupils for reactivity. They dilate when they’re supposed to and contract when they’re supposed to, so he’s passed out. The blood loss is, admittedly, worrying.

The thing that probably no one else knows is that werewolves actually can’t commit suicide. Your bodies recuperate too quickly.

Your stitches are sloppy - fuck, you’ve never given anyone stitches before, never thought you would need to - but they do a decent enough job of holding the cuts together until he heals enough to staunch the bleeding and wrap his wrists in gauze. “Help me get him out of the tub,” you tell Jack, who helps you pull him out awkwardly, helps you drag him into the bedroom. The sheets look awfully clean, awfully neat and you know that Alex never makes the bed this neatly.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” Jack whispers. “Think whatever you want about what you saw, I don’t blame you, but I didn’t sleep with him. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He’s so earnest it makes you want to tear his throat out yourself. “I don’t care,” you growl. You shake Alex’s shoulders to see how far under he is. “Alex,” you whisper, “Alex, hey, wake up, asshole.” The blood seeps through the layers of gauze mummifying his wrists, making little red dots on the white fabric. He makes a soft noise in his throat. “Wake the fuck up,” you hiss. You poke his nose, which you know he hates.”Wake up, wake up, wake _up_ ,” you urge him.

“Hnnnnnf,” he says. It’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard in your life. He stares at you with deadened brown eyes and mumbles, “Moon pigs.”

You sigh and tell him to go back to sleep and kiss his forehead. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” you ask Jack. He shakes his head; you can sort of tell that this isn’t the only thing eating away at his conscience but you don’t care to ask right now. As much as you’d like to make him the bad guy in all this, you don’t feel like you can do that. “You can sleep on the couch. Blankets are in the cupboard outside the bathroom door. One of us will drive you where you need to go in the morning.”

Matt is waiting for you in the kitchen. “Is he going to be okay?”

You’re not sure which one of them he is asking about. “They both will be,” you say. “Thank you for everything.” He hugs you tight and holds onto you for several minutes; you squeeze back just as hard and cry. He strokes your hair and tells you to call if you need _anything_ , anything at all.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to rip his heart out once he’s feeling better?” he asks hopefully. Despite the situation, you laugh and give him a little shove. “Okay, okay, I thought I’d ask in case you changed your mind. Call us in the morning or Danny will worry about you all day. I love you, little bastard.”

“I love you too.” You give Matt one more hug and see him out. Then, with a sigh of resignation, you decide that cleaning up the house will have to wait until the morning. Jack is kind of following you around like a lost puppy, apologizing and being generally annoying and underfoot so that you’re tripping over him all the time. “Can you please stay out of my way?” You’re trying not to go off on him; it’s a combination of anger and betrayal and horniness and worry and not enough sleep and in general the effects of being a werewolf, but he won’t understand that.

He looks at you, sniffs the air delicately and goes, “You’re one too. I thought - I couldn’t - I didn’t, I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t know, I swear, I’m sorry,” and then he bursts into tears in the middle of your kitchen. You recognize this behavior perfectly well, though; you feel like an idiot for not recognizing it in your own fucking partner. Jack falls to his knees and sobs hysterically, hugging himself and whimpering. Despite the fact that you still want to punch him out for this, you kneel down and put your arm around him.

“Okay,” you sigh. “Okay. It’s okay. I mean it’s not okay that you kind of made out with my boyfriend and I kind of want to fuck you up for doing that, but shhh. It’s alright. You’re just, you’re just…” you trail off, unsure of what to say that would be comforting. “I’m going to be really honest with you. This sucks. You are just a baby and it is going to suck because your body really hates you right now for getting bitten. I mean, until you hit the one year mark - if you survive that - or until you find your mate, yeah, you’re going to be uncontrollably horny for a while. You’re going to have mood swings and it is going to be hell. I just, I just… Yeah. You will be okay. Somehow.”

Jack says, “I don’t want to be a werewolf.”

“I know.” You give him a hug and help him find some blankets in the cupboard, set him up a makeshift bed on the couch. “Hey,” you say awkwardly. “Um. If you ever have any questions… uh. You could ask me, if you want. I mean I’ve been a - I’ve been, it’s been years for me. So. Um. Yeah. Goodnight.”  
You go back to the bedroom to check on Alex, who is sleeping as soundly as he can for the moment. He stirs, but barely, when you lean over him and kiss his cheek. “Mmmmm,” he groans. “I’m sorry.”

“Go back to sleep. We will talk in the morning after you drive your _friend_ home.”  



	3. Chapter 3

Alex wakes up in the morning and immediately wishes he hadn’t.

He doesn’t understand how he’s not dead. There was so much blood in the bathtub. He waited for Jack to fall asleep before he did it, feeling guiltier by the second until his heart felt like too heavy a weight to remain in his chest anymore, and then he did it. He slit his wrists, climbed into the bathtub and waited to die. He wakes up in his own bed with his wrists bandaged up nice and tight, although incredibly sore. There are bruises on his torso, under his armpits, so he knows that he was dragged out of the tub, probably straight in here. But the thing is, he was really hoping to die last night.

Because… there is absolutely no point to his existence now that he’s ruined the one good thing to ever happen to him. He feels sick thinking about it. Jack means nothing to him; it’s not the same, it’s not the same at all but he was sad and lonely and hurt and Jack was there and he was feeling so many of the same things and it was just so, so easy to try and forget himself for a few minutes. He lies in bed and wants to die some more even though his stupid body won’t let him.

After a length of time - he doesn’t know how much because the goddamn alarm clock is broken - he hears the front door open and close, then the bedroom door. He doesn’t even bother lifting his head to see who it is. “Hi,” he says. “I want to die.”

“Please don’t.” Soft _flump_ of someone sitting down on the bed. He opens his eyes. Grieco looks at him with the saddest eyes he’s ever seen. He starts crying even though he really doesn’t want to.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Grieco kisses his temple and carefully removes the gauze wrapped around his wrists. He can see that the inner layers are soaked with blood. Somehow, magically, the slashes on his wrists that were so deep last night he saw his own bones are now angry-looking red lines bisecting his forearms. “Why did you do it?”

He shakes his head. “I can’t live without you. I can’t be alive if you don’t love me anymore, I’d rather be dead than know I hurt you and I betrayed you, I can’t live with myself. I hate myself.” He wants to scratch the scabs on his arms until they bleed. But his brilliant, lovely, perfect better half takes both of his hands before he can do that and looks at him sadly.

“I never stopped loving you, Alex. I just…”

“No, I screwed up. You can say it. I fucked everything up. I lied to you and then I cheated and now I hate myself.”

He kind of just wants to stay in bed forever. “I hate to be the guy that says this,” Grieco sighs. “I really hate to say this, but it’s not entirely your fault. I’m the one who flew off the handle with you yesterday morning. I’m the one that ran away from my problems instead of dealing with them. I’m the one that got angry with you instead of listening and trying to understand. I’m the one who was shitty and made you upset.”

“But you had every right to be angry with me. I can’t, I’m just… He was just _there_ and you didn’t come home and I was so lonely and he had nowhere to go and… I, he, everything happened so fast and I don’t understand and my body is freaking out and the only thing that makes it go away is sex. But I don’t want to have sex with him. I just want you. Always you.”

Alex is not expecting to be full-on kissed on the lips after a speech that depressingly pathetic. But he is. “I couldn’t stay away from you even if I tried,” Grieco confesses. “Just promise you’ll listen to me the next time you feel like doing something foolish?”

He nods weakly. He feels light-headed still. “Promise,” he yawns. “I love you more than anything.”

“Love you more than that. I’m sorry.”

“Stop being sorry.”

“I’d really rather not dwell on this experience, if that’s okay with you. We need to figure out how to move on from this without you getting eaten alive by the pack. I can’t remember the last time we got someone new that wasn’t recruited _by_ the pack, to be honest.” Grieco lays down with him and kisses his jaw lightly. “I don’t even know where to start, what to tell you. There’s so much to know about how the pack works, all these little rules, and I’m not even in the pack really. It’s just… I don’t know how to tell you.”

“Crash course in being a werewolf?”

He’s answered with laughter, quickly followed by a stern, “Go ask Jeff. He knows everything.”

“Is Jeff in the pack?”

“No, not really. He’s just… you know. Jeff Maker.” Which isn’t really an answer, but he’s tired and achy and he wants to snuggle and nap and avoid work for as long as possible. Vinny is at least competent enough to deal with cats that have eaten weird things for one day. He and Jess can hold down the fort, Alex decides. Besides, he has a feeling they’re gonna owe him some favours for vacation time in the future if the ring sparkling on Jess’s left hand the other day is any indication, so this can be considered advance payment on future favours. Not that he minds. Maybe now both of them will stop with the married jokes when he can throw it right back at them… And that is sort of not a shocking realization at all, really.

Sleepily, he mumbles, “I’m gonna marry you one day, ‘kay?”

“Not today, though.” Grieco strokes his hair. “You’re gonna nap until the afternoon and then we are going to figure this out together. Just let me worry about stuff for a little while. You have a long way to go before you feel normal again, babe. It’s gonna be hard. Now back to sleep.” Alex tries to sit up but he shakes his head and goes, “Shhh, shhh, you don’t need to worry about it. Stay in bed.”

*

Jeff Maker, it turns out, really does know everything.

“When the fact that you exist is physically impossible,” Jeff says, “everything else starts to seem kind of possible by comparison.”

Alex has a lot of experimental accidents those first couple of weeks trying to test the limits of his changing body.

*

He goes to lunch with Jack a week after the incident, although he makes sure he calls his boyfriend beforehand to make sure that this is okay. Grieco is… carefully reserved about his opinions on the matter. He does, however, say, “Sweetie, make sure he’s staying somewhere safe, okay? ‘Cause if he doesn’t have a place in town, the pack might take him…” The ‘please don’t tell him he can stay with us’ remains unspoken but perfectly understood between them. It’s still a sensitive area of conversation with them.

When he gets to the restaurant, Jack looks pretty haggard. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days and smells like he hasn’t showered in about as long. He touches Jack lightly on the arm and asks, “You okay?”  
It makes him sad when the younger man shakes his head. “My parents kicked me out.”

Alex is worried. He’s been trying not to worry, to let things go, but he feels this strangely protective instinct kicking in all of a sudden and it gets worse when he studies the bloody gouges on Jack’s arms, the backs of his hands. It’s not hard to tell what they are from. It’s not a good sign. He wants to text Grieco, call him, ask if Jack can stay with them just for a few days, but he also likes sleeping in his own bed and not on the couch, so he doesn’t. “Where have you been staying?” Jack shrugs. “You haven’t. Please tell me you haven’t been living on the street. Jack. _Jack._ It’s not safe.”

The waiter comes to take their drink orders; Jack orders a coke and a glass of water. Alex orders a coke, too, but his is with a double shot of rum. “It’s only noon,” Jack whispers across the table.

“You’re staying with us,” Alex decides. He pulls out his Blackberry and sends Grieco a text, ending it with _just until the pack takes him, ok?_. Their drinks arrive and Alex practically inhales his. This is not a good sign at all. Jack picks at the scabs on his hands absentmindedly. “Stop,” he groans, reaching across the table. “You could get an infection.”

“I can’t stay with you. Your boyfriend hates me.”

“He will understand.” His phone chimes. The reply he’s just gotten is very unhappy but understanding. “You’re kind of the best friend I have right now, so he will understand.”

Jack’s jaw drops. “I didn’t think we were friends.”

“No, you know, I kiss random strangers all the time and then go to lunch with them because I hate them. Speaking of which… Are you, you know, okay? You’re being safe?” He feels like an old man even saying it, but… It had to be said. He’d hate to think that Jack is hooking up with random strangers and not using protection. Because it’s not like Jack could go to the regular doctor if anything happened - it’s not like he’ll have insurance, probably, and Alex is not a medical doctor… Not that medical doctors can do much for werewolves anyway, but considering the biggest creature he’s ever operated on was a Welsh Corgi, it would be kind of nice to let someone else deal with the big scary problems.

Jack goes, “I can’t believe you just asked me that. Oh my God, Alex. Oh my God. You are so lame. Why am I even friends with you? Jesus Christ.” But he’s grinning, so it’s not all bad. “You’re sure he’s not going to, like, strangle me in my sleep? Stake me in the chest?”

Automatically, Alex says, “Stakes are for vampires, not for werewolves. You want to kill a werewolf, you need a silver bullet or a dagger.”

The younger man’s eyes go wide. “How did you know that?”

“My friend Jeff Maker knows _everything_ ,” he answers matter-of-factly. “He’s a werewolf too. Apparently. Which I didn’t know until just this month, but hey! What else is new?”

The waiter comes back around to take their meal orders - Jack: turkey BLT, Alex: porterhouse steak - and then Jack says, “So some guy punched me in the face the other day because I was flirting with his boyfriend. I mean, I didn’t think they were together and he was a total jackass about it. Like, seriously? If you don’t want people moving in on your territory then you kind of need to act like you’re together.”

Alex goes “Mm,” and he does actually kind of agree. “You can’t just try to sleep with everyone you meet though. You are going to get punched by a lot of jackasses that way.” Lunch is good, though, and afterward they walk for a bit and go into a couple of the stores downtown to kill some time. Alex likes being friends with Jack; he can make all the stupid jokes he wants to and Jack will laugh at them. They talk about music, shit like that. Surprisingly, they have a lot in common.

*

Inside the music store, Jack has a clumsy moment and knocks over a set of shelves. Stuff goes flying everywhere, and Jack is very obviously embarrassed. His cheeks are bright red. He grabs onto Alex’s arm and pulls him towards the door and says, “Can we leave now please?” They rush out onto the street without looking back.

Alex is curious to know what spooked him. Maybe it was his parents or someone he knows from before. He very carefully does not ask about this on the way back to the house.


	4. Chapter 4

The first night of the full moon, Jeff Maker comes over for dinner, which Jack has cooked. Alex isn’t sure they aren’t all going to die, but at least Jack is trying. They are all trying to get along without ripping each other’s heads off, which is a huge feat when there are three of them living under the same roof together. Mostly Jeff is there to guide Alex and Jack through their first change. They’re both nervous, Alex particularly so. After dinner they all walk out to the forest together. “Stop being so nervous, you’re making _me_ nervous,” Grieco says. Jack laughs awkwardly.

Jeff looks at the three of them. “You’d better strip now,” he sighs. “It’s getting dark and we don’t need anyone freaking out if they get stuck in their clothes. They’re a lot harder to take off when you lack opposable thumbs.” It’s supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but no one is laughing. Jack undresses first, keeping his back turned while he does. Then Alex goes, not caring if anyone sees him naked because he’s pretty sure everyone present has witnessed it at least once before. Soon enough they are all naked; it’s pretty awkward and embarrassing and nothing happens at first.

“When is something going to happen?” Jack wants to know. He’s restless. Nobody has figured out how to get him to stop pulling his hair out and picking at his skin. At least it doesn’t scar that much; Alex silently thanks God every day for their speedy recovery time.

Jeff looks at them and says, “It is happening.”

Sure enough, there is hair in places it shouldn’t be. It’s hard to explain how it feels, exactly, like waking up and stretching and feeling the sensation of bones cracking everywhere at once. It’s hot and itchy and uncomfortable and it _hurts_. The worst part is the tailbone. It feels like being chopped in half. Alex means to ask how he’ll know when it’s over because the pain is kind of unbearable, but his jaw is mangled and half-animal so he can’t form words anymore. The howls coming up from deeper in the trees send shivers down his spine.

He looks at Grieco, like, _Are we supposed to find them?_ and Grieco-wolf rolls his eyes.

(It’s kind of weird and uncomfortable that he still finds his boyfriend attractive as a wolf. It’s downright awkward and disconcerting and he doesn’t know if they’re supposed to, like, _do_ stuff because he kind of really wants to but he doesn’t actually know if that’s a thing. And if it is a thing… how? Just how exactly does this all work?)

But then he gets distracted by running and leaping and swimming and rolling in the leaves and hunting. He howls some, too, but it’s not the mournful sounds he sometimes hears. It’s _I am so happy to be alive right now, I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou mine mine mine MINE_ until they find a place to curl up and fall asleep together. Grieco licks him and bites him playfully. They spend a long time nuzzling each other in the morning. Then, Grieco shows him the best way to catch rabbits and they spend the majority of the next afternoon stalking some jackrabbits and scaring them shitless.

Being a werewolf doesn’t suck as much as he expected it to. The days run together a little bit, but he doesn’t mind.

*

You decide to catch up with the pack on the last night. Alex… has a tendency to let his attention wander with each new smell, so it does take a while to herd him to the usual meeting spot. Although, admittedly, sometimes it is your fault he gets distracted because you can’t stop touching him either. He’s pretty, okay? Which is why, when you lead him into the clearing, your head is held high and so is your tail. You’re thinking _mineminemine hi this is Alex and he’s pretty and he’s MINE_.

You can literally feel Alex thinking, _stop wagging your tail like an asshole you’re embarrassing me_ but you also know that he’s nervous because he doesn’t know anyone. Well, he does. He just doesn’t know that he knows them.

Rian growls and circles around with his tail held low, teeth bared. Alex lowers his head, puts his ears back; you sort of told him what to do when he meets the pack leader and he’s doing a good job of being submissive. He whines softly, so you nuzzle his side encouragingly and lick his face. _It’s okay_ , you think. _I love you._ Everything is going perfectly fine, until Jack - who Jeff was supposed to be keeping an eye on, what the fuck happened to that - comes flying out of the bush and tackles Alex, then you, yipping joyfully and generally acting like an idiot. This was not part of the plan at all. This is actually incredibly counterproductive, because your plan was to get Alex accepted by the pack so everything could be business as usual.

You were kind of hoping, pretty much, that you would get to pretend Jack doesn’t exist. You do it enough at home that you’ve gotten pretty good at it.

But then Jack had to come along and ruin everything _again_. Rian flattens his ears against his head and growls at the three of you; the others start moving in and you grit your teeth. This… is not going to end well. Oh, this is probably the worst thing that has happened in a very long time because you can see Rian eyeing Alex with a predatory glare you’ve seen once before. Pretty much you had hoped that, uh, if Alex acted submissive enough Rian might just ignore the fact that he is… basically reeking of alpha wolf. And now Jack has essentially just claimed Alex as his pack leader and you, by extension, a member of his pack, which is a very, very bad thing. You could tear his throat out right now. You are so fucking angry at him.

It catches you slightly off-guard when Rian lunges at Jack first. You’re not sure why he’s angry at Jack, or what Jack has done to offend him, but you aren’t surprised when Alex leaps to his defense. The look Alex gives you clearly says _I know he’s weird and embarrassing but he’s my best friend_ and you can’t really fault him for that. Alex growls deep and curls his lips back. He has impressive teeth, you think, as far as teeth go.

The sun is slowly rising. You nip Alex on the shoulder and push your head against his neck. _Let’s go, we have to go home,_ you think. You growl at Jack and bite his back leg. He is the mangiest fucking werewolf you’ve ever seen.

Once everyone is changed and clothed again, Alex looks at you and says, “Well, that wasn’t terrible.”

“Are you fucking insane?” you snap. “Now we have to keep him.” Jack shrinks away. You don’t miss the tears welling up in his eyes; you’re not heartless and you do feel bad for making him cry, but that’s part of being a werewolf, the mood swings, and he just made things a hell of a lot worse for all three of you. You’re allowed to be angry at him.

Considering the last stupid kid who thought he’d make a great pack leader and could start his own pack without knowing the consequences ended up dead on the side of the highway, you’re pretty sure you’re allowed to be angry about all of this. Alex has been a werewolf for a month. He is not leadership material; despite your best efforts he barely knows how to hunt and he is just not equipped for this kind of thing! None of you are!

Jack says, “I’m sorry.” He really means it, too, you can tell. He looks so sad all the time. You wish you could fix him - if not for his sake, then for Alex’s, because Alex is his best friend and therefore if he’s sad, Alex is also sad. And if Alex is sad, then you are sad too. You love him that much. So, even though you kind of hate Jack for the mess he’s caused, you also love him some for being Alex’s best friend.

*

It is so easy to get annoyed with Jack for following Alex around like a lost puppy until you realize that he really can’t help it. You forget sometimes what it’s like to be that new to everything. Finally Alex pulls him aside and says, “Jack, you’ve gotta give us some space for a bit. We’re all tired and I don’t want to fight with anyone right now. I want a nap, and then I want breakfast.” You could kiss him right now. It is mid-morning; you’re exhausted and kind of crabby and you just want to dive into bed with Alex and stay there all day. Alex wraps his arm around your waist and murmurs, “I swear I’m gonna make this up to you as soon as we’re alone.” You lean into him. He’s gained a lot of muscle since he was bitten, a result of which has been the fact that you can’t keep your hands off him lately. His arms are just, like, _Jesus Christ_. He whispers, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you all morning.”

“Mm,” you sigh. That is a plan you can get behind. “Goodnight, Jack.”

Jack shrugs and curls up on his couch. “’s not really night, but okay.” He won’t be awake much longer, you can tell. Where Alex has gotten more muscle mass, Jack has only gotten lankier. You can count his ribs through his shirt now. He looks so tired all the time. It’s worrisome, but it’s also not your problem right now. He’s not sick, he’s not running a fever or anything but you’ll keep an eye on him all the same. The other thing that worries you is that he hasn’t stopped picking at his skin; he wears long sleeves most of the time to try and hide it, but sometimes you catch a glimpse and seeing what he does to himself makes you worried. You’ve never heard of anyone self-harming like that before - you’re pretty sure that a large percentage of the werewolf population at large must do it, but you’d never be able to tell who because of the healing factor involved - but it’s the fact that Jack scars that’s… off. He scares you, sometimes.

Alex tugs on your hand. “Hey, c’mon. Bed.” When you don’t follow him right away, he grabs you around your waist and throws you over his shoulder. He never used to be able to do that. You laugh and hang on so he won’t drop you. Not that you think he would, it’s just instinct.

“You’re incredible,” you breathe. He lets you fall onto the bed on your back and then straddles your hips, grinning as he kisses you hard. You pull Alex closer, open your mouth to him. “What are you-?” you whine when he pulls away.

He shuts the bedroom door and locks it. “Privacy.” You lie back on the bed and watch him strip out of his clothes. _God, he has a nice body_ , you think. He comes back to the bed, kisses you again; you don’t resist when he undresses you. That would defeat the purpose. “I love you,” Alex whispers against your skin. “I’m sorry you keep getting dragged into my shit. I’m sorry.” His teeth graze the side of your neck. You know exactly how he plans to make it up to you. And you don’t mind at all.

The mattress squeaks with every roll of his hips. It’s good, _so_ good. You wrap your legs around his waist, pull him deeper into you. You think _I want to spend the rest of my life with you_.

Afterward, you doze off for a while. Alex kisses the top of your head and mumbles, “I love you so much.”

“Love you too,” you reply sleepily. “Go to sleep. ‘m tired.” You nuzzle his shoulder and brush your lips over the skin before curling up in his arms for what will hopefully be a good, long nap. Alex squeezes your waist affectionately. It’s good to be home again. It’s good to be with him. He’s going to make a good pack leader, you think, with a little work. He’s likeable, he’s good with people. You’re not sure exactly how it’s going to work with just the three of you, but. It’s not like you haven’t had to work through bigger problems than this over seven years. After all, he’s already survived the first real challenge; you thank God for that because so many new wolves don’t survive the first month. Everything else is peanuts compared to that.


	5. Chapter 5

It’s midday when you wake up to Jack frantically knocking on the bedroom door. You roll out of bed and pull on some pants sleepily. “What’s up?” you yawn, supporting yourself on the door frame as you stretch your back. Alex makes a vague, sleepy noise and pulls his pillow over his head. He’s not so good at being woken up.

“Jeff Maker called,” says Jack. He’s gone all pale and he looks worried. “He says that Rian wants to meet and set terms and, um, territory and stuff. It sounds serious… I don’t, I don’t know. I fucked up, didn’t I?”

You shake your head. “This is not your fault. There was always a possibility that this would happen, as much as I hoped it wouldn’t. Alex never stood a chance. He’s just… you know.” Both of you look at him sprawled out on the bed, half-awake and staring at the ceiling. Jack sighs. “I’m telling the truth, it’s not your fault.” If it’s anyone’s fault, honestly it’s yours. You didn’t do enough to protect him - to protect them, when all is said and done - so it’s basically your responsibility at this point to figure out how to fix this.

Jack starts crying. For the first time in your life, you hug him willingly. Alex gets dressed quickly, wraps an arm around both of you and murmurs, “It’ll be okay.” You’re not so sure it will be. He kisses you on the lips and Jack on the forehead. “I love you guys. It’ll be okay. We can do this.” Well, at least someone is optimistic. You wonder if this is what the condemned on Death Row feel like as they march to their untimely demise. That’s sure as hell what it feels like. You have all been condemned.

*

The meeting is held at Jeff’s house - you assume that he’s been declared neutral territory, then - and you, Alex and Jack arrive first. It’s barely five minutes before the _other_ pack shows up, Rian in the lead with his girlfriend at his side, heavily pregnant. You figure she must be almost due by now; you can still remember the day they announced the pregnancy, the concerns that were raised, the worries about the baby and what would happen if Cass changed while she was pregnant. You don’t know how they did it, but you haven’t seen her around during the full moon for months. It has to be some kind of magic - or maybe it’s the magic of being a werewolf, maybe you just don’t change while pregnant. But you’re not supposed to worry about it right now. Alex squeezes your hand tight and shifts his weight beside you.

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “It’ll be okay.” You kiss him on the cheek for luck.

Rian looks Alex in the eye and says without a trace of emotion showing on his face, “Give him back.” You don’t know what he’s talking about, and from the way Alex’s fingers tense, you can tell that he doesn’t either. “You fuck,” Rian growls, “He was supposed to be _mine_. Jack was supposed to be mine. He was supposed to join my pack, he’s my progeny, he is supposed to be my fucking _successor_ and you stole him.”

Alex looks about ten seconds away from punching him out, so you squeeze his hand and mutter, “Alex, _don’t_.” He growls, but does not react when Rian steps closer. On his other side, you can see Jack shaking.

“You bit him,” Alex says coldly. “You’re the bastard that bit my best fucking friend.”

The vein in Rian’s forehead pops out. “I _made_ him what he is,” he hisses.

You’re watching the rest of Rian’s pack - no longer your friends, no longer your almost-pack; it’s an ‘us vs. them’ thing now - closely. Evan’s mouth twitches. Beside him, Dan grinds his teeth. Only Matt and Danny look unaffected by this turn of events. You’re really not surprised. Made werewolves often have drastically different concepts of what lycanthropy is than those who are born to it. Alex’s hand is sweaty.

“It was supposed to be me,” Evan says. “You promised no more after me, Ri, so what the fuck is that?” He looks ready to put a bullet in his pack leader.

“I didn’t think you were going to work out after you got involved with Dan so I had to take matters into my own hands,” Rian growls. “I had to do this for the safety of my child, for the future of the pack I have worked so fucking hard to cultivate and expand. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh, I _understand_ perfectly,” Evan retorts. “I understand that you didn’t like my priorities so you decided to replace me. And there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it now, is there? I’m tied to you. Your blood is my blood. I see how little I mean in the grand scheme of things.”

Before Jeff can intervene, Dan explodes in a rage you’ve only seen a handful of times during the months you have known him. He has a hot temper. “This isn’t what I signed up for,” he seethes. “You told me that everyone who joins the pack has a choice, you bastard. I didn’t sign up for turning innocent kids. I didn’t sign up for this. You bit him. You fucking bit him and then when he didn’t turn out to be what _you_ expected, you turned your back on him and replaced him. Well, _fuck you_ ,” Dan shouts. “Evan is twice the man you can ever hope to be.” His fist connects solidly with Rian’s jaw and then he storms across Jeff’s front lawn to stand with Jack. “Fuck you and fuck your goddamn pack, I’m leaving.”

He turns his face away before anyone else can see, but you do notice the tears streaming down his face. You’ve never seen Dan cry before. A painful thirty seconds of silence follows; Rian cracks his neck, knuckles, grinds his teeth. You can tell he’s pissed.

He bares his teeth and asks, “Anyone else planning to shit on me today? Anyone else feel like I’ve betrayed them and want to say their piece before we settle this thing?”

No one says a word. Dan looks like someone just ran over his puppy. He’s staring at Evan, who is in turn staring at the ground, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Something passes wordlessly between them; Evan looks at Rian, growls, and takes a running leap into Dan’s arms. And Dan catches him. They kiss for a very long moment and then, once Evan has pulled away and Dan has set him down, he turns back to look at Rian one last time and says, “I go where he goes, so if he’s choosing them, then… Sorry, bro. I ought to rip your throat out, but I won’t this time.” It is without a doubt the single most romantic thing you have ever seen.

You elbow Alex and ask him, “How come you never kiss me like that?”

“I kiss you like that all the time,” he answers. “You’re just so used to it you never notice.”

For the first time that you can remember, Jeff is pissed off. He steps between the two packs and growls. “You’re all acting like scared kids on the playground who don’t know how to share. Grow up a little.” He sighs. “I’m giving you a week to sort out whatever this is, and then we’re going to have another meeting to pick a new pack leader. One. Just one. I’m not going to tolerate this bullshit. We live in a small town, boys - no offense, Cass - and there isn’t _room_ for this.”

Cassadee says, quietly, “I might not be there to vote. The baby’s due any day.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Jeff says. “Call us from the hospital if you have to, we’ll figure it out. I’m not standing for this shit. You guys need to stop before this gets ugly.”

As you pass by Jeff on your way back to the truck, you mutter, “I think it already is.” The five of you pile into the truck and no one says a word the whole drive home. There is nothing left to say. You’re going to have to dig the air mattress out of the garage for Dan and Evan to sleep on. You’re going to have to go to the  
grocery store, too. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.


	6. Chapter 6

“This is stupid, you know?” Evan says to you while you are both washing dishes. “This whole… fight. I mean, what does it matter who’s in charge as long as it’s someone who wants it for the right reasons? Not that I have anything against Rian, it’s just that ever since Cass has been pregnant the baby thing has been making him a little bit crazy.”

“I think I want to have a family with Alex,” you tell him. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

Alex hugs you from behind and murmurs, “We have a family. This is our family.”

You sigh and look out over the living room full of other people’s stuff, the air mattress in the corner, the blankets piled high on the couch. Is this what family means? It’s been so long since you’ve seen your own biological family that you can’t remember anymore.

*

The vote is held at Jeff Maker’s house. Alex has a feeling that everyone is going to end up voting for Jeff; he’s the most sensible, knows the most about being a werewolf - the dude knows everything! - and he’s just a good guy in general. But, nonetheless, Jeff insists on there being a Survivor-style ballot where everyone has to write down who they want to nominate and then from there they will vote between whoever gets the most nominations by a show of hands. He is so nervous he could throw up; Grieco is sitting in his lap, perfectly calm, and Jack is beside him trying to solve a Rubik’s cube to keep his hands busy. They’ve all been trying to find solutions to help Jack stop hurting himself, but so far all that has worked is giving him things to do with his hands.

“No matter what happens,” Grieco whispers in his ear, “I will always love you.”

They’re waiting for Evan to submit his ballot because he seems to have misinterpreted the word _ballot_ as _five paragraph essay_ instead. Finally, Evan finishes writing and folds his piece of paper into a tiny square, deposits it into Jeff’s hat and leans back against Dan’s legs with a satisfied grin. Dan rubs his shoulders and says, “It’s just a vote, Ev, you aren’t going to get full credit for this.”

“Oh, ha ha ha,” Evan mutters. The look he gives his boyfriend is of fond exasperation. Jeff glances at the door, like Rian and Cassadee are going to show up all of a sudden because they haven’t arrived yet. They’re probably at the hospital - Alex heard that she had gone into labour in the morning, so it’s anyone’s guess whether they’ll be making it to the meeting in person or calling once she’s done delivering the baby. Dan mutters something about Rian thinking he’s too good to show up and Evan hits him. “You are an asshole,” Evan growls. Dan just smirks.

“I guess if no one else has anything to say we can start counting the ballots,” Jeff says calmly. He dumps them out onto the coffee table and starts sorting them into piles - one pile quickly growing larger than the rest - then looks at one, laughs, and says, “Jack, did you really nominate yourself?”

Jack grins sheepishly. “I thought it was like that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where we were all supposed to nominate ourselves,” he explains. Alex pinches him.

It takes five minutes to figure out who got the most ballots. Jeff looks out over the motley little congregation - Matt is in a bad temper, no thanks to Danny taking pictures of everything that happens - and sighs. “Has anyone heard from Rian or Cass?” No one speaks up. Jeff counts everything out one more time - _onetwothreefour, onetwo, onetwothree_ and sighs again. “No one wants to change their vote or make a surprise nomination?” he asks wearily. “No one has anything to say about what’s happening at all? No questions?”

Dan clears his throat. “I know jackshit about being a werewolf,” he says slowly, “so this isn’t so much a question as a concern. What, exactly, is this wise leader of ours going to do? I mean obviously I understand the need to keep the whole werewolf thing under wraps, but… it’s not like we’re going to propagate the species, are we? Like… I don’t mean to be an asshole here-” Evan snorts “- but without a political goal, what’s the point of electing a leader at all? Shouldn’t we just be going about our normal lives? Because… okay, I’m no great political genius, but it seems to me that this is more like an _illness_ than, like, a political cause for all of us to rally behind. Like I said, I know jackshit about this, but I’m just saying it how I see it.”

Jeff shrugs. “I guess that’s what we’re all here to decide,” he says solemnly. “Now, if no one else has anything to say then I guess we’ll-”

Before he finishes the sentence, Rian walks through his front door. “Am I too late?” he asks. He looks tired. “Would’ve been here earlier, but the little dude took a while to make up his mind about whether he was going to arrive today or not. I would’ve hated to miss everything. Cass says hello, by the way, but she had a rough time with labour so they’re keeping her overnight with the baby.”

“Better late than never,” Alex grumbles. Grieco gives him a warning look but says nothing.

Rian remains standing. “So I don’t know if you guys have decided anything without me,” he says, “but if you haven’t, I’d like to nominate someone for pack leader that I think really deserves it.” Jeff tells him that they’ve already counted the ballots but doesn’t tell him to stop talking, so he continues. “I put a lot of thought into this over the past week and what I think we need is not someone who is looking for any kind of power or special treatment in all of this. We need someone… practical, someone who can think logically and doesn’t let their emotions cloud their decisions. It should be someone smart, too, someone who can help current and future pack members deal with the change and any… accidents,” he says, pausing to look at Jack meaningfully. To Alex’s surprise, Dan nods as if he agrees with what Rian is saying. “So I guess…

“What I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of thought into this, into what we all need coming out of this, and so there’s one person I think we should consider. I know what I have to say probably doesn’t mean a lot to anyone sitting in this room right now because I’ve been a downright _asshole_ and I’ve put a lot of lives at stake, but that’s also why I am asking you to please, please listen to me because there’s someone that I think deserves this more than anyone else.

“I think it should be Evan,” Rian says quietly. “Ev, you’re smarter than anyone and you just… I’m sorry, buddy. I owe you this. It should be you.”

The room is quiet.

“I couldn’t,” Evan whispers. “I couldn’t, I can’t lead anyone, I don’t… I don’t think I’m the right person. It should be Jeff or somebody, somebody wise, I mean, I’m in _college_ , what do I know?” He clutches Dan’s hand tightly and goes pale.

“Which is exactly why it should be you,” Dan tells him. “You can totally do this. You are the best person I know. I mean, I’m totally biased since I’m in love with you, but I think you can do it.”

Jeff stands up quietly and looks around the room. “Almost half of you guys wanted me as your pack leader, but… I don’t agree with that decision. Can we just get a show of hands right now, who agrees with Rian?”

Every hand in the room goes up except for one. Evan’s. “You are all insane,” Evan protests. “You are putting your lives in the hands of a guy who has not even graduated.”

“It was always going to be you,” Rian sighs. “You are the smartest guy I have ever met. I just got… honestly, I think I went a little overboard once I found out that Cass was going to have a baby, so I’m sorry. I am really sorry. Which, um, she made me bring pictures of the baby if anyone wants to see them…? I think he kind of looks like a little tiny alien, but she says he’s beautiful. I don’t know. You guys will help us with the baby, right?”

Matt looks up at him and says flat-out, “If you expect me to change any diapers, you’re crazy.” Danny grabs the camera from Rian and immediately starts looking through them. “We are not getting a baby,” Matt tells his boyfriend tiredly. “Babies require too much work. Congratulations though, Evan. You’ll do a great job. And if you don’t… we’ll eat you.”

Evan doesn’t laugh. Dan announces that he’s going outside to smoke and Evan follows; Alex figures that they just needed a moment alone so he politely ignores the fact that Evan is a nonsmoker. Instead, he kisses his boyfriend’s cheek and murmurs, “So how long do I have before you start?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Grieco whispers, leaning up for a real kiss. “All I ever wanted was a life where I never had to leave you, and I got that. I got more than that. We’ve got a real family now.”

Jack groans, looking at them both and goes, “You guys are disgusting. Get a room.”

Danny takes a picture of Alex flipping Jack the bird seconds before the two of them end up bickering about it - Grieco and Danny look at each other knowingly - and then they end up rolling on the floor, evenly matched as they are since they were both bitten about the same time. Jeff pulls him aside and tells him, “Oh, don’t you worry about Jack getting lonely. He won’t be single for long.”

Matt remarks dryly, “He won’t be _alive_ for long if he won’t stop stalking that poor kid.”  
Jack glares at them. “Mind your own damn business. I’m not stalking him, we’re just…” he shrugs helplessly. Grieco rolls his eyes. Alex gets bored of fighting with him and goes back over to his boyfriend, feeling suddenly glad that his own relationship worked out despite all of the… problems. When he got bitten he never thought things would work out like this. He can’t remember how he thought it would all turn out, before, but he never thought it’d be like this. He expected a life of misery, being treated like an outsider. He wasn’t expecting all the other werewolves to be so… normal.

Grieco crawls into his lap and kisses him again. “So,” he says. “How does being stuck with me for the rest of your life feel?”

“Pretty damn good. It’s pretty damn good.” It’s easier than he thought it’d be. The only person who doesn’t look happy is Jack, but he doesn’t know what he can do about that. They are best friends - why won’t Jack open up about his past? It’s a mystery he has yet to solve, but that can wait for another day. There’s drinking to do, celebrating; Alex intends to get Evan shitfaced to celebrate the fact that it’s no longer his responsibility to take care of anyone but himself. And Grieco, too, but the thing about that is that Grieco doesn’t really need taking care of. It’s probably the happiest day of his life - at least until the full moon. After that, anything goes. They don’t shout when they drink later like normal folks would - they howl, and Alex is more than okay with that.


End file.
